I'm Scared
by Rhapsdy
Summary: After finding out his true origins, Genesis leaves Shin-Ra, but it takes a turn for the worse... Contains spoilers, moves away from the original storyline somewhere just before the middle.


Authors Note: I don't own Crisis Core, or whatever else that may be mentioned, only a copy of the game.

* * *

_My eyesight blurred. I could only just see the outlines of my friends. Their voices sounded like I was underwater. I could feel the blood running everywhere, spreading on the floor, trickling from my mouth. I focused on what he was saying, crouched above me, with something that looked like worry on his face.  
"...I'll kill him, I swear on it..." I opened my mouth to try to reply, only ending up with coughing, blood splattering over him.  
"Don't... he didn't... mean to...he's just... " It was becoming hard to breathe. I felt a warmness flow over me. My eyes started to close, and I focused on those words. I had to say it, give him a reason to stop, to not kill him... I managed to say it. My eyes closed completely, and I felt like I was floating. Flying, with wings. As my consciousness fizzled away, I focused on those last words he'd said to me._

"_I'm... scared." _

The redhead grinned as he let loose a flurry of fireballs. His opponent easily cut through them, sending waves of energy through the air. The redhead manoeuvred in the air, gliding and flipping away from being hit. They both landed back on the ground around the same time.  
"As expected from Sephiroth." Genesis Rhapsodos seemed to be happy, even though he wasn't winning.  
"Not a hit, either way. You're improving." Sephiroth smirked back, folding his arms.  
"I think you'll find that I did land one hit..." Genesis pointed to Sephiroth's back. He looked around. A small flame was burning the ends of his hair. Genesis laughed as Sephiroth put it out with his fingers, the fight forgotten.  
"Alright, you have improved." Sephiroth rolled his eyes, sliding his sword into its usual place on his belt. Genesis did the same.  
"Hey you two. Have you finished?" The environment seemed to dissolve, to reveal a much smaller room. The door was open, and Angeal poked his head through.  
"Yeah. I won." Genesis grinned, and did a thumbs up at his friend.  
"You did? Heh, you're improving." Angeal smiled back. "The Director wants to see us."  
"Huh. Wonder what he wants..." Sephiroth murmured. Shrugging, they left the room.

Genesis and Sephiroth fighting in the training room were common, but as the weeks went by, the fights became more and more serious. Genesis became obsessed with winning, and Angeal had to stop them on several occasions, for fear of killing someone. Then came that fateful fight. It had started off as two verses one, but Genesis insisted that he duelled Sephiroth alone. The two fought, but it seemed to Angeal that Genesis had forgotten they were in the training room. He was using extremely strong fire materia. At one point he had the advantage over Sephiroth, but Angeal interrupted him.  
"Stop! You'll destroy us all!" He caught Genesis' hand before he let loose the fireball. Genesis merely glared at him.  
"That's no way to talk to a hero!" The Firaga exploded in his face, sending Angeal falling to the 'water' below. When Genesis looked back up, Sephiroth was free of the mass of fire. Cursing Angeal for interrupting him, he continued with the fight.  
He had to try to stop the fight again, or one of them would have died. He tried to block both of them, catching Sephiroth's Masamune with the Buster Sword, and blocking Genesis' sword with the standard SOLDIER-issued one. That was the mistake. Genesis, already annoyed at Angeal for interrupting, and desperate to win, sliced through it. The edge of the sword caught him on the shoulder, easily ripping through his coat. He stumbled forwards, his sword dropping the floor.  
"Genesis! Are you okay?" Angeal took a step forward, offering a hand to his friend. Genesis ignored it, taking his sword from the floor and standing up.  
"Nothing but a scratch..." He muttered. Walking towards the door, he quoted his favourite book, LOVELESS. "Even if the morrow is barren of promises... Nothing shall forestall my return." Angeal and Sephiroth exchanged concerned glances and followed him, leaving the hissing wires and burnt cables behind.

Weeks later, he was still not out of the infirmary. Doctor Hollander said that the wound had been infected with mako. How could that be? There was no exposed mako sources in the Shinra building, and they knew that... Anyway, the only way to treat him was a blood infusion. Sephiroth was going to do it, but Angeal stopped him.  
"Your blood isn't suitable." Hollander told him with a sneer, then disappeared with Angeal into the room.  
Genesis stared out of the window, looking at the distant fields and forests on the horizon. It was rare to find any plants or greenery in Midgar, and he was thankful for that. Plants reminded him of his hometown, of his past.

The past... why was it like that? Now that I thought about it, it seemed obvious that _they_ weren't my parents. But why would a kid think that? I looked around the white hospital room. It seemed so barren. Nothing in there to offer comfort. I picked a Banora White from the small stack on the bedside table, and carefully got to my feet. Chewing on it, I made my way over to the stack of files that Hollander had left on the side. Maybe they would have something about my parents in? As much as I doubted it, I still had a small bit of hope. Flicking on a light, I pulled a chair over and began to read.  
I didn't expect to find out that. It surprised me that much I started choking on the apple. I didn't want to believe it, but it was printed there, in plain text.

_Rhapsodos, Genesis. Male, Specimen of Project G._

Specimen... Project G... No, I didn't want to believe it. It wasn't true, it was a mix up. Hand shaking, I turned the page, not knowing what else would appear.

_Parents unknown. Implanted with Gillian Hewley's genes in the foetal stage. Adopted by the Landlord of Banora village. _

Gillian... Angeal's mother?! I stood up suddenly, knocking the chair to the floor. The apple core fell from my hands, rolling across the room. I took a few steps backwards, before I tripped over one of the chair legs. I sat there in shock, eyes wide, shaking. I couldn't believe it, my brain wouldn't process anything. One thought ran through my mind. _I'm a monster._  
I must have stayed on the floor for hours. I couldn't move, couldn't think. What was happening? Everything I knew had changed. Angeal came into the room, and as soon as he saw me on the floor, rushed over to help me.  
"Genesis?! You okay?" He sounded worried. His voice broke me out of the trance. I looked around, slowly.  
"A...Angeal?" My own voice sounded confused, shaking.  
"What happened?" He offered me a hand. I pulled myself up. I walked back over to the bed, and sat down. Angeal picked up the chair. The papers seemed to catch his eye. He stopped and read them. He looked at me, the papers, and then back at me.  
"Genesis...? What's this?"  
"I... don't know. It was just... there." I sounded dazed. I still couldn't think straight.  
"My mother... What does my mother have to do with this?" Angeal muttered to himself. I stared at the floor.  
"I... I know what it means." I said slowly. Angeal looked up, slightly surprised. "I'm... a monster."

Weeks later, I decided to leave Shinra. Leave SOLDIER. There was no way I could keep going knowing the truth. I didn't tell everyone I was leaving. I didn't want them worrying, even though reports of me going missing in action would worry them more. I couldn't face it. I just couldn't tell them. I guess that made me a coward, huh? So, I left. In the middle of the night, with a small bag of things, I walked through Midgar's empty streets. I decided to go back. To go home. If it really was my home... Show them how much of a _monster_ I was.

Angeal paced up and down the briefing room, a worried expression on his face. Sephiroth sat silently in a chair, staring blankly at a screen. He looked tired, his usual calm, emotionless face tinged with concern. Lazard snapped the phone shut.  
"He's been sighted heading to Banora."  
"Thank Gaia, he's alive." Angeal sighed.  
"...Unfortunately, he seems to be killing everyone who tries to get in his way, including a few squads of SOLDIER who we sent to investigate..." Lazard rested his head on his hands.  
"Why didn't you tell us?" Sephiroth asked, not moving his gaze from the screen.  
"We thought you would... interfere."  
"Of course we would! We're worried about him!" Angeal stopped pacing, and looked at Sephiroth. He hadn't been sleeping, instead had been searching all of the computer systems at Shinra to try to locate the missing 1st.  
"Do you know what caused this sudden change?" Lazard asked, typing something. Sephiroth shook his head. "Angeal?"  
"...No." Angeal lied. He did have a pretty good idea. But it couldn't have been... he was stronger than that, wasn't he? Angeal frowned. "I... This isn't like him."  
"...Well, you two do know him better, and are more likely to be able to stop him than sending any more SOLDIERs on a death mission. That's why... we've decided to send you." Lazard sighed. "Try to make him see sense..."

The next day, the two 1st class SOLDIERs set out. They sat silently in the back of the helicopter, the only noise being the whirr of the rotors. They watched through the small windows as crowded city turned into sprawling countryside. Angeal idly counted the landmarks as they came closer to Banora. As the orchards rose into view, he froze. Flames rose high into the air, devouring the village. The helicopter was engulfed in smoke, and he vaguely heard the pilot tell them he was going to have to do some manoeuvre. But nothing could break the feeling of nausea that had come over him. Sephiroth put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Do you think he...?" Angeal turned to ask him.  
"I don't want to believe it either, Angeal. But he... probably did."  
"He... Why? He wouldn't do this, no way. Why did you do it, Genesis?" He muttered to himself. He stood up, and made his way towards the pilot. "Can you see any standing buildings just outside the village?" He yelled over the rotors.  
"There's something like a warehouse behind that field." The pilot replied, taking his hand off the gear stick to point.  
"Can you land near there?" Angeal asked. The pilot nodded, and Angeal returned to his seat. Moments later, they had landed, and headed towards the old warehouse. They stood either side of the door and listened. There was nothing for a while, and then a scream. A loud, ear piercing scream. Then laughter. Shouting. A quiet voice. A yell. Laughter, maniacal laughter. The two 1sts exchanged glances, instantly recognising the laughter. Angeal nodded, and they both burst through the door.

What they saw before them was like something out of a horror movie. Genesis stood, sword in hand, blood splattered across his face and clothes. Two bodies lay on the floor, disfigured and surrounded by pools of blood. Genesis turned round as soon as they crashed through the door. He was grinning, but there didn't seem to be any sign of life in his eyes. Angeal realised who the bodies belonged to.  
"Genesis, why... why did you destroy the village? Why did you kill your own parents?" Angeal asked, shaking his head in disbelief.  
"They knew... All of them knew, and they didn't tell me. They knew I was a monster, they were afraid of me, they deserved to die!" His voice rang out around the empty warehouse, as did his laughter.  
"A monster...?" Sephiroth looked between Genesis and Angeal. He still didn't know what was going on between these two.  
"Yes, Sephiroth. I'm a monster. Not just a monster, but a failed monster, nothing but an unknown, invisible, useless failure." Genesis took a deep breath, and then looked him in the eye. "Of course, you wouldn't know how it feels to be the unknown one, would you, _hero_?" Sephiroth felt a twinge of guilt. He knew Genesis wanted his fame. But Sephiroth was the hero, so what was he? Sephiroth always knew Genesis was jealous of him. But he never assumed it was as strong as this.  
"Genesis... Come back to SOLDIER." Angeal pleaded.  
"How could a monster go back there, the army of _heroes_ whose job it is to destroy monsters?" Genesis replied, his voice lacking any sign of emotion.  
"Genesis, you're not a monster, you're-" Angeal started.  
"I'm not... Then how do you explain this?" Genesis closed his eyes, and raised a hand to his face. He suddenly flung his arm out, and behind him, a single black feathered wing spread out, sending feathers flying around the room. The two SOLDIERs tried not to react, but gave away an air of surprise. They stayed silent.  
"See? Even you are disgusted by this..." He said, looking at the floor.  
"Come back to Shinra, Genesis." Sephiroth said quietly.  
"Ahahahah... Why should I? I have nothing left there. There's nothing left, just experiments, nothing but experiments, tests, coming last in everything, not being allowed to do anything, having to listen to _everyone_ say how great Sephiroth is!" He shouted, his voice sounding a little hysterical. "I'll show them how great Sephiroth is, I'll show them!" He raised his sword, pointing it as Sephiroth.  
"Genesis, stop-" Angeal tried to step forward, but Sephiroth raised an arm to stop him.  
"Angeal, stand back. I'll fight him..." Sephiroth's other hand moved to the handle of his sword.  
"Sephiroth, be careful..." Angeal was worried about both of them.  
"Relax. He's only beaten me once..." Sephiroth unsheathed his sword. The two SOLDIERs started fighting, the room filled with the clashing of swords and crackling of fire.

Angeal watched. It was exactly like the training room. Except he and Sephiroth were fighting Genesis, and he wasn't going to hold back against any of them. So many times they came close to dying, so many times they both dodged strikes that would have been fatal with just a few scratches. Angeal watched, feeling that he couldn't do anything.  
Genesis turned around, striking at Sephiroth's sword from below. He knocked it upwards, then brought back his own and aimed for Sephiroth's stomach, using all his strength to stab his sword forward. _This time, I win_, he thought.  
"Stop!" Angeal couldn't watch any longer. He ran in front of Genesis, blocking his attack with the SOLDIER sword. Then he remembered what happened the last time he made that mistake. Genesis, unable to stop, kept moving forward. His sword went straight through the SOLDIER one, and kept going.  
Angeal staggered backwards, almost knocking Sephiroth over.  
"Angeal? Are you...?" Sephiroth stopped talking when he saw the blood dripping off of Genesis' sword.  
"Man, looks like I'm the one who gets injured this time..." Angeal laughed weakly. Genesis' eyes flickered with realisation. Angeal noticed his expression turn to shock. Genesis murmured something. He took a few steps backwards, the extent of the situation hitting him. Then he turned and ran, stumbling up the stairs to the top half of the warehouse.  
Angeal fell, landing on his back. Sephiroth crouched next to him, a mixture of worry and anger on his face.  
"Angeal? Hang in there... I'll kill him, I swear on it..." Sephiroth muttered, the anger welling up inside him. _How dare he kill their friend, and then just run?!_ Angeal tried to say something, but ended up coughing.  
"Don't... he didn't... mean to...he's just..." Angeal's eyes stared to close. "...scared."  
"...Scared, huh?" Sephiroth said, staring at the staircase. He had forgotten how close those two were. Of course they knew each other, they grew up together. His anger dissolved away, leaving nothing but a feeling of emptiness. He had lost one friend to insanity, and now the other was on the brink of death. Sephiroth stood up, and with one last glance at Angeal, headed to go find Genesis.

I can't believe I didn't stop myself, I can't believe I just did that. Angeal, I'm sorry, but...

_As I realised what I'd done, my arms dropped to my side. I was shaking. I couldn't hear anything, but I saw Angeal laugh. Why was he laughing? I'd just... Sephiroth was angry, I could tell that much. I looked Angeal in the eye. He was smiling. I opened my mouth, determined to say something, anything.  
"Angeal... I'm... scared..." That was all I could say. I turned and ran. Ran up the stairs. Ran into the upstairs room. I ran to the corner, and just fell to my knees, my head against the wall, the black wing wrapping round me like a blanket. _


End file.
